First Class is for dwarfs

WTF?  What the hell happened today on my flight?  I got bumped up to seat 3A – last row of first (and the dreaded window, no less).  3:50PM flight – this is important for later. 

Three major problems:

1) I think they somehow wedged a few more rows of economy in the plane and pushed First together – my knees could almost touch the seat in front of me.  There has been a disturbing trend of airlines recently to squash FC together (knowing that about 4 of us actually pay for it in any given year).  My hunch – make it suck so much, they can just elim it and cram in 12 more seats up here.

2) Dude in front of me put his seat all the way back right after take off.  It’s 4PM!  WTF?  Are you that tired after your liquid lunch at the Met and quickie with the admin at Hotel Monaco?  Get to work, sucka!  In any case, despite me having an incredible shrinking computer, I could barely open the screen all the way.  WTF.  How do you get back at someone like this?  TYPE REALLY LOUD, which is not hard on this computer, since the keyboard clicks like a MoFo.

3) The guy next to me smells like Old Spice.  There should be a no fragrance policy.

The inexorable decline of travel I think will end with all of us riding reincarnated wooly mammoths across the tundra when oil becomes too expensive to burn and our worlds will once again shrink down to the level of what we can walk in a day.  At least Florida will be isolated from the rest of us.

Update:  As I sit here, I think the smelly guy next to me is famous, but I’m not sure.  He’s reading "The Kite Runner" – isn’t that so 2006?

Update2: OMFG.  The reclined guy in front of me is ALSO reading "The Kite Runner".  WTF?  Did "The Best Damn Sports Show" have the author on or something?  Wasn’t this an Oprah book selection last year?  The world is losing it.

One thought on “First Class is for dwarfs

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