This morning as I headed into the office, I noticed a sign near the freeway entrance that has seemingly been there for months. It’s about 4×6 feet in size and it reads, in very large letters:
"Ban Ignorance. Not Dogs".
The left side of the sign is a picture of a pit bull staring at me. Oy vey. People, if you’re going to spend $200 on a sign from Fast Signs, please review some basic PR principles.
First, that dog in the picture is a frickin PIT BULL. Shit, man, I DO want to ban those dogs. Especially since he is scary looking on the sign! His muscles – coiled. His head – ready to tear your throat out should you not decide to ban ignorance. They need a picture of a lab or retriever playing with a kitten in a bubble bath, not a pit bull who is daring me not to ban ignorance. I think they were going for ‘regal’, but if you want ‘regal’, go for a St. Bernard with some whiskey around its neck, not Cujo.
Second, how do you ban ignorance? It’s like saying "Ban Blue". And, while we’re on that topic, how would someone who is ignorant know if you banned it? Isn’t that some kind of evil circular logical situation, the likes of which Escher couldn’t draw his way out of? And finally, if somehow we were able to pull a men-in-black and ‘ban’ ignorance, is this really the reason we’re doing it? To limit legislation around owning Cujo in the city limits? How about stopping war, hate crimes, or ‘republicans’? It’s like pushing for stem cell research to cure the common cold – sure, people die from it every year, but I bet we could think of other, more important things that taking that course of action could yield.
Third, where’s the call to action? Where’s the website? How do I get in touch with those who are working so hard to ban ignorance? Where do I sign up? Apparently, they are going for more of the Zen approach – just believe it and it will happen.
And if you don’t, Cujo will maul your ear off.