Rerun: Cisco Makes Me Want to Work in a Postoffice

It’s funny to look at traffic referral logs and see how people end up at my blog – looking at the logs this AM, I found a Cisco post I wrote a few months ago that still makes me laugh.  It’s a oldie, but a goodie..

Now, before my Cisco friends say "hey, you’re being a dick today", let me just explain to you my post title.

I had a meeting on the west side after lunch today and rather than head back to the east side only to end up a 3000 pound slug trundling back over the floating bridge, I decided to work from the west side.

Many of you may know that our house is undergoing surgery to make it less small (think of it as the reverse of stomach stapling).  That also means it’s a pain in the ass to work there since there are men with large airguns, saws, and I think gravity disruptors around at all times.  And we have no walls on the main floor, so it is cold as a brass jockstrap.

Anyhow – I went to my parents’ house to work.  Get there – remember my dad had some friggin industrial strength Cisco Access Point in the house, and that meant I needed a friggin driver for a frigging PCMCIA card which Vista doesn’t friggin have.

Those of you who work in the tech industry know where this is heading: the dreaded Cisco support site.  Here is all I want:

*  a 2.4MB driver file – probably the most common thing downloaded on the Internet (besides music, porn, and Kitten Calendars)

To get this, I have to search Cisco’s site, end up on a page describing the card, navigate to another page with a tree control where I have to search again, scroll down to see that they have hihglighted the adapter model I need (GOD FORBID YOU JUST LIST THE FUCKING DRIVERS IN A TABLE!), click on it, and see the dreaded Lock icon.

This fucking little set of 14 pixels means you have to register to download the software.  No big deal, right?  WRONG.  Cisco offers you about a dozen confusing options to register, including basically telling you to fuck off.

What the fuck is this?  Am I a Registered Guest?  A Partner?  A Registered Customer?  Who the hell knows?

Once you realize those links just tell you about the ‘levels of access’ you can expect should you figure out what the hell you are, you are taken to another screen:

http://tools.cisco.com/RPF/register/register.do

Oh yeah – I dare you to do complete this form without crying like a little child.  I end up just filling it out, only to be told that I am stupid enough to have tried to fill this out before, at which point they sent me a mail telling me how to reset my account.

Now – in most cases, getting your account reset involves – wait for it – MAILING SOME DUDE AT CISCO.  Fuck me.  Seriously – what year are we in?

After 20 minutes of fun, I just searched the web, found some hack site, and found the driver and loaded it.  I hate Cisco’s site, and I’m going postal on it.

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