For the love of all things holy.
Those of you who know me know I’m a gadget whore. You can imagine my titillation when, after a seemingly interminable amount of wrangling, I managed to land the Samsung Series 9.
After three weeks with it, just like a super hot girlfriend with that one annoying flaw, it’s time to ditch it.
Except in this case, it isn’t that she clicks her heels too loudly when she walks, it’s that her holes are too small. Wait, what am I talking about again?
Oh right. The laptop.
I can likely live without the TPM (altho Samsung has never actually responded to my initial compliant about this). I can live with the “not-even-close-to-advertised” battery life (try 4 hours instead of 7). I can live with the idiotic power plug that juts out from the side of the unit, totally horking up the design aesthetic.
But I can’t live with one major flaw: the Micro-HDMI port. Three words: WHAT. THE. FUCK.
If you ever want to project in a work setting, you’re out of luck. Maybe Samsung is trying to bring back the family-meeting-room feel by making everyone in the room gather around your laptop to watch your presentation. Maybe they secretly hate Powerpoint and this is their way of blocking its inexorable rise. Or maybe some EE student got a little carried away and turned this thing into a really expensive brick.
“Buy an adapter, Weitz!” you say. Oh I would. Except they don’t exist. Yep folks, going from Micro-HDMI to VGA Female is impossible unless you want to daisy chain a bunch of adapters together. And nothing screams sexy and functional like a bunch of electrical-tape wrapped adapters.
“Weitz, call Samsung – surely they can help, right?” Ok. Lets see what happened when I did that:
Please wait for a Samsung Agent to respond.
You are now chatting with ‘Gary C’. There will be a brief survey at the end of our chat to share feedback on my performance today.
Your Issue ID for this chat is LTK4380840187X
Gary C: Hi, thanks for reaching out to Samsung tech support. How can I help you today?
Visitor: Hi – I have the Series9 and need an adapter that goes from the micro-hdmi to vga
Gary C: I will help you with providing required information.
Gary C: Would you mind holding a few minutes while I gather the required information on your request?
Visitor: no problem
Gary C: Thank you for waiting. I’ll be with you in just a moment.
Gary C: Thanks for holding.
Gary C: I am sorry, we do not have the information on the part you are looking for.
Gary C: However you can check for that part at any of your local retailer.
Visitor: Samsung doesnt sell anything that can help me hook up my new Series 9 laptop to a projector?
Gary C: Correct. But you can go to a local retailer.
Visitor: Uh. Ok. Just so I’m clear: Samsung sells a $1700 enterprise PC that one cannot hook up to a projector. And you have no solution except to tell me to go to a local retailer (who, by they way, don’t have this part because it doesn’t exist). Does this seem logical to you?
Seriously. Make the pain stop here.
So I’m back to my Sony. It isn’t as sexy. But it’s as fast, has every port I need, about the same battery life, and doesn’t inspire rage-inducing blog posts at every turn.
On another note, I have a sweet Samsung Series 9 laptop for sale if anyone wants it.
Since Samsung apparently doesn’t allow returns.
Injury? Meet insult.