People – look at this ad copy from the Hemispheres Magazine for the new Dell Latitude PC.
Let us count the inanities.
1) “we’ve tweaked, enhanced, and completely redesigned…” Uh. What? Either you tweaked or you completely redesigned. It’s like saying “New and Improved”. If it’s new, it by definition can’t be improved.
2) “hinges that flex 180 degrees for tight workspaces”. Uh – sorry? When was the last time your laptop couldn’t open WIDE enough on an airplane. Unless those 180 degrees refer to some sort of space fabric warping, this is completely pointless. Unless you like to work, laptop open 180 degrees, suspended from a ceiling.
3) “rounded corners for better maneuverability”. Oh Jesus Christ. Really? Did someone just get high and start writing as a joke and the agency forgot to proof it? Better maneuverability? Where, exactly? In the obvious empty cavity that is this marketer’s head?
4) “the i3 processor is the most affordable way your business can enjoy noticeably faster, smarter business performance.” (emphasis mine). Holy Hyperbole Alert, Batman! All it takes is a bottom-of-the-line Intel proc in a middling PC to create the highest ROI investment possible in my business? Fuck hiring people, I’m buying a shitload of these little guys!
5) Bonus on that highly memorable URL brothers and sisters.
Really, this is a like a bad SNL skit for geeks.